Timing is Everything, After All

If you are reading along with Heritage, Hope, Home blog that is marking our 85 years of ministries, missions, and members at Hayes Barton Baptist Church, you would have read “In Her Own Words” yesterday, on our anniversary Sunday.  “In Her Own Words” are the words of Helen Cashwell; they comprise a letter she wrote to the church for posting in the blog.  They include a powerful prayer for our church:

I pray that God will continue to bless this wonderful Church and that it will always be a beacon that lights the way for people to gain their salvation because here is where they learn of the love our Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Because Helen Cashwell wrote such a beautiful letter to Hayes Barton Baptist Church, a letter she describes the writing of as a trip down “Memory Lane,” she wondered if we would have much to talk about when we met.  I told her I wanted the “back story” of the Cashwells “for the record” if for nothing else.  So we talked…

Many here likely know that T.L. Cashwell initially did not feel “the call” to Hayes Barton Baptist Church when a search committee called on him.  As the saying goes, though, timing is everything, and the passage of six months led to a different response when the committee came back to and asked T.L. again.  As a result of the changed answer, the Cashwells arrived at Hayes Barton Baptist Church in 1964. 

There had been three churches pastored by T.L. Cashwell prior to Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  One in Kings Mountain, one in Lenoir, and one in Albemarle.  Prior to these churches, there were years of study, including at Mars Hill College where T.L. met Helen.   Four and a half years of dating, including some long distance courtship with Helen in Richmond, Virginia, and T.L. in Louisville, Kentucky, ultimately resulted in marriage. Their married life began in Lousville as T.L. completed his doctorate and Helen worked in the library at Southern Seminary.

Helen was no stranger to Louisville as she grew up there.  She was born in Liberty, Missouri, and her father was a minister who for a time pastored a church in Louisville.  T.L.’s lineage also included ministers as his grandfather and father were both ministers although, interestingly, T.L. initially studied to be a surgeon.

When the Cashwells came to Hayes Barton Baptist Church, Helen recalls they “came to a hole in the ground.”  The rebuilding of the church after the 1962 fire was well underway, so far along that only the carved baptistery doors and chandeliers  reflected requests T.L. was able to make.

The next 21 years were “wonderful years,” according to Helen.  “We loved every one of our congregations, but we were here longer and our children, Tommy and Susan, grew up here.”   They stayed here, too, after T.L. retired in 1985.

Because I had recently given an Offertory Prayer during Worship, we talked about the sanctuary and my surprise that, from the pulpit’s perspective, the church looked and felt more intimate than I expected.  “The sanctuary allows us to be enveloped by the love all around us,” says Helen.  “It allows us to worship with one mind, one heart, melded together and that makes for a warm and loving feeling in the sanctuary.”

With a long perspective, Helen talks of the church’s heritage.  “We were here during a growing time.  And what is interesting is that the church has stayed the same yet is different.  We were and continue to be a church of culture and spirituality which is a wonderful combination.  At the same time, we see young and younger people here.”

The hope of Hayes Barton Baptist Church is that it will be the “beacon” Helen mentions in her prayer.  “People need to feel that they can be a part of the church, be comfortable here, and be able to take a worthy Christian journey,” says Helen.

And the home Hayes Barton Baptist Church is for Helen is one she cherishes for all it represents about the different stages of her life:  first as the wife of the pastor; then the wife of the retired pastor; and now the widow of a most beloved pastor.  “T.L. is comfortable and at peace.  I know that,” says Helen.  “I’m having good years.  Old years,” she laughs, “but good years.”

We finished our conversation by talking about the Bible.  There are “so many” favorite verses that selecting one was impossible, but mentions of Psalm 46:10 and John 14 were made with some reflection.  “There is something about reading the Bible in your ebbing years,” says Helen. 

There is something about talking to people like Helen Cashwell, too.  When you finish, you feel like you have been enveloped by the love she has for Hayes Barton Baptist Church and its people.  The search committee that went back to T.L. six months after his “no” needs to be remembered and thanked for being persistent.  Timing is everything, after all.

In Her Own Words...

Even though we have many more stories to write and days to celebrate our 85 years of ministries, missions, and members at Hayes Barton Baptist Church, as we celebrate today, I can’t think of a better story to post than the one that follows here.  “In Her Own Words” is a letter written by Helen Cashwell, wife of Pastor T.L. Cashwell who served Hayes Barton Baptist Church from 1964 to 1985.  Mrs. Cashwell and I have met twice over the last several weeks.  I have been truly blessed by these conversations, and I have learned so very much about her and her beloved “T.L.”.  I’ll share some of those stories in another post, but, for now, I will pass along Mrs. Cashwell’s thoughts which reflect her grace, gratitude, and love of Christ and Hayes Barton Baptist Church.

To write this article really takes me down Memory Lane.  It was about 48 years ago (January, 1964) that my husband, T.L. Cashwell, Jr., was called to become Pastor of this congregation called Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  At that time, he was the Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Albemarle, North Carolina.  We came to Raleigh for the first Sunday on January 26, 1964, where there was a wonderful congregation waiting  to once again in the future enjoy attending church in a building that belonged to them.  Since 1962 they had been meeting in Myrtle Underwood School in the winter (to be warm) and in the Colony Theater in the summer months (to be cool).  A fired had destroyed the church building except for the Chapel wing. 

I will fast forward to say that the Thanksgiving Morning of November, 1966, we entered the beautiful sanctuary that we enjoy today.  The additional edifice was the Fellowship Hall and Educational Building.  Now years later during the time of the present Pastor, the Family Life Center has been built and is a blessing to all of us.

The twenty-one years that T.L. served as Pastor here were some of the happiest years of our lives.  He was 42 years old when he began as Pastor here.  Our two children, Tommy (14) and Susan (11), dreaded leaving their friends in Albemarle, but they quickly made new friends here after we moved to Raleigh.  We were so young, so blest! T.L. continued until he was 63 and decided to retire because he felt he didn’t have the energy needed to serve the congregation as they deserved.  The end result was his struggle with Alzheimer Disease, and his death came on May 15, 2003.  The Church was so wonderful and caring during those years and expressed their love by assisting with his care in a financial way while he was a patient in the Stewart Health Center at Springmoor Retirement Community for two years and three months.  Our family was so grateful.

The crowning moment came when at T.L.’s last service in the pulpit. On the Retirement Sunday it was announced that he had been named the first Pastor Emeritus at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  Other fine Pastors had preceded him, but he had served twenty-one years which was the longest tenure at that time.  We felt greatly honored by the Church’s gracious recognition and love.  The remaining diamond in the crown came when the Church honored him one more time by naming the new addition to the sanctuary the Cashwell Corridor.  It is so special because it is handicap friendly and also affords all of us the beautiful walk into our lovely place of worship.  We can never thank you adequately.  The Memorial Service for T.L. was beautiful, and the reception that followed was lovely and so appreciated.

I could never list all of the joys of our years at Hayes Barton Baptist Church, but these are some of those that rise to the top.  Thank you for allowing this 90 year old lady to still be a part of this wonderful congregation that I love with all my heart. 

I pray that God will continue to bless this wonderful Church and that it will always be a beacon that lights the way for people to gain their salvation because here is where they learn of the love our Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Getting the Job Done

I was really happy when the person in today’s story said “yes” to sharing her story.  She is known for being a person who gets the job done.  She has played an important role “getting the job done” for Hayes Barton Baptist Church on a number of occasions.  She is one of three women who has served as chair of the diaconate.  From former associate pastor Julia Ledford’s perspective, she “was put where she was needed when she was needed there.”  The person in today’s Heritage Hope Home blog story is Barbara Jean Warren, and her story tells us where and when she was needed.

Barbara Jean “BJ” Warren has a presence about her.  When she shows up, you know it.  She is a “no nonsense” woman and maybe has to be to balance out her husband Henry!  Together, like many of the other couples at Hayes Barton Baptist Church, BJ and Henry model what being happily married is all about.

I’ve admired BJ from the first day I met her in my Sunday School class.  I wasn’t surprised to learn that she had been chair of the diaconate as I would have expected nothing less from her.   She takes on projects and gets them done with planning, precision, and pride.  Our Sunday School class’s Valentine’s Day dinner this past year comes to mind.  She was chair of our dinner committee and had the dinner planned right down to the candles and mirror centerpieces on the tables with white linen tablecloths, of course.

BJ has been a member of Hayes Barton Baptist Church since 1967.  She started attending when she was a student at Meredith College.  Her first memories of the church are of its warmth and the fact that it was “extremely welcoming.”  “People were encouraging,” BJ recalls of her early years at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  “I remember Luther Hughes and how he welcomed people.  It was very difficult to tell Luther Hughes ‘no’.”

Some of the best first memories BJ shared were of Wednesday nights.  “I loved coming on Wednesday nights,” she says.  “I got to know all the generations of the church.  The lines were long and waiting in line allowed for fellowship.  I’d make four new friends every Wednesday night, the two people standing in front of me and the two behind me.”

BJ jumped right into church involvement, working with youth and serving on committees.  “The mission of the church offers a constant reminder that we are to serve,” says BJ.  “There is always an opportunity to contribute.   It is one of the most cherished things, being in church and being called to more service.”

Sometimes the call to service comes by surprise; at least it did for BJ in 2008 when she was elected chair of the diaconate.  “I was completely surprised that I was elected,” she recalls.  “I was suggesting other people, and then I end up elected.”

BJ’s election is what brought about the comment offered by former associate pastor Julia Ledford that BJ was “was put where she was needed when she was needed there.”   In July 2008, church member Jesse Helms, former United States senator, passed away, and his funeral was to be held at Hayes Barton Baptist Church. With senior pastor Dr. David Hailey on sabbatical, responsibility for heading the church’s effort landed with BJ as chair of the diaconate.  Coordinating the efforts of the several law enforcement agencies that were involved, going on a bomb search of the church at 3 a.m., talking by phone with the Vice President of the United States, and, most importantly, making sure that the Helms family’s needs were met were all on BJ’s plate.

“This was a State Funeral and, as such, it had to be done just right,” says BJ.  “Everyone rose to the occasion.  The church was willing to work; nobody said ‘no’ to any request that was made.  To this day, people thank me, and I thank them.  I have to say a special ‘thanks’ to Henry for I couldn’t have done it without him.”

BJ has a lot to say about the heritage of Hayes Barton Baptist Church as she has a long history at the church.  “This church is more than an organization.  It is a family, a family of believers created in Christ.  It is a place,” says BJ, “where Christian fellowship is a noun and a verb.  One of the best things is that we have fellowship whether we are in Worship, in a committee meeting, or doing a church clean up. We are even in fellowship with our daily devotion when many of us begin our day reading the same Scripture.  That is a good feeling.”

The hope of Hayes Barton Baptist Church involves the church’s covenant.  “Our hope lies in our staying true to our covenant,” says BJ.  “It reflects our heritage and frames our future.”

The church home that Hayes Barton Baptist Church is for BJ is one of “a loving, caring family that looks first to God and Jesus Christ.” It is a place where she and Henry raised their children.  “When your children grow up in a church and stay at that church,” says BJ, “that speaks a lot for the church.”

BJ speaks a lot for our church, too.  With enthusiasm and with service, her love of Hayes Barton Baptist Church and of Jesus Christ shine brightly.  I feel good thinking about the fact that when I read my daily devotion in the mornings, she is reading the same one.  She reminded me of that a few days after our conversation when the devotion was Psalm 100.  “One of my most favorite Scriptures,” she wrote in an email as it was our devotion that day.  She had named others, notably John 3:16 and Psalm 23, in our conversation but, true to form, she wanted to make sure I would “get the job done” by sending me that email. 

A Unique Perspective

The person in today’s story has been a member of Hayes Barton Baptist Church for less than one year having joined April 3, 2011, yet her story conveys much about the church.  It is a story of a faith journey, a story of family, a story of service, and a story of prayer.  I came to know her when we trained together in Stephen Ministry.  Anyone who goes through the fifty hours of Stephen Ministry training gets to know classmates well as much of the training involves role playing about real-life situations.  Although not a big fan of role playing, I always liked to role play with this person because she approached it with a seriousness that meant we would truly gain from our interaction.  That’s not to say we didn’t have fun, too; it just means that this person is someone who cares about what she does in a way that makes other people care, and I think, when you read her story, you’ll see that.  The person in today’s story is Suzanne Nalon.

One of the first things I learned about Suzanne Nalon is that she is the mother of Alice Moore.  I suspect most people may have learned about the family connection the other way around; that they knew Alice, a long time member, and met Suzanne who started attending Hayes Barton Baptist Church regularly in 2009.  For me, though, it was the other way around.  Also starting to attend regularly in 2009, I met Suzanne at a Stephen Ministry information meeting.  I found out in our conversation for the Heritage Hope Home Blog that she was surprised at that meeting to see Alice in attendance as they independently decided to become involved in Stephen Ministry.

Suzanne had actually attended Hayes Barton Baptist Church on several occasions through the years preceding her move to North Carolina in 2009 when she and her husband Don visited Alice and her family.  With Don’s passing, Suzanne moved from Terre Haute, Indiana, and lived with Alice and Chris and the children for almost six months until finding her own home in Morrisville.  She had lived in Terre Haute for eighteen years although her life with Don was one that saw fourteen moves to nine different states through the years.  “The moves were all transfers given his work was in plastics,” Suzanne explains. 

Raised as a Catholic, Suzanne remembers a Bible study she attended while living in New Jersey in the mid 1970s.  “It was very meaningful.  It was a neighborhood Bible study,” she shares.  “And I loved studying the Bible in that group.  I also started listening to Christian radio at that time and still do today.  It keeps me on my toes.” 

After New Jersey, the next transfer took Suzanne and Don to Arizona where she looked around for another study to attend.  Twelve years in New York and another move, to Indiana, and, eventually, Suzanne was baptized in a Baptist church in Terre Haute.  “I remember the feeling afterwards,” says Suzanne.  “I remember being on a spiritual high.”  Suzanne also remembers calling Alice to tell her she had been baptized.  “’Well, you’re a Baptist now,’ Alice teased,” says Suzanne with a laugh.

Joining Hayes Barton was an easy decision for Suzanne.  “It fits like a glove,” she shares. “I love the music.  I love the preaching.  It has been easy for me to fit in.”  Suzanne was “easily absorbed” into the Danielson class after attending several classes per Alice’s guidance to see where she fit best.  And she heard Julia Ledford, then associate pastor, briefly discuss Stephen Ministry on a Wednesday night and decided she would check her fit with that, too.

In fact, regardless of the location or the denomination, Suzanne has always been active in her home church.  At Hayes Barton Baptist Church, her relatively brief membership has seen her involved in Wednesday night kitchen duty, Operation InAsMuch, the consignment sale, Vacation Bible School, the Support Circle, the Danielson Sunday School Class, and Stephen Ministry.  And, when you take into account “the rest of the story,” her level of involvement is even more impressive.

Those of you who know “the rest of the story” know that Suzanne became extremely ill in late summer 2010.  Eventual diagnosis, which took some time, honed in on a slow growing non aggressive cancer known as Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  “The lymphoma was in my right lung and affected every area of my body,” Suzanne recalls.  Sepsis and chemotherapy treatments made recovery challenging, but “the power of prayer,” says Suzanne, “saved me.  Here and from other churches, from relatives, and from friends. People from this church came and visited me.  They prayed with me.”

Coming to the Baptist faith later in life, Suzanne expresses a special appreciation for the opportunities that are given to learn about our Baptist heritage at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  “I remember the Wednesday night classes that Larry High taught in the Fellowship Hall,” says Suzanne.  “They were about being Baptists.  They focused on the freedom and autonomy of Baptist churches and Baptists as a priesthood of believers.”

The hope of Hayes Barton, per Suzanne, is in its people and their prayers and prayerfulness.  “Given what I’ve seen in my brief time here, I only see good days ahead,” she shares.  “If we continue to do what we have done, we can’t go wrong.”

As to Hayes Barton Baptist Church being her church home, Suzanne says, “Yes.  It is.  It feels like a second home to me.  I’ve been made to feel welcome, and I know that this church family has made a big difference for me.”

Suzanne has a perspective that is unique given the health crisis she experienced over the past year.  Just as she has reached out to care for others through her service, she has received the help of others through their care and prayer.  Her life offers an example of what it means to come to Christ and to serve Christ by serving others.   “I am a Christian.  I know that,” Suzanne strongly stated at the end of our conversation.  Wouldn’t it be great if we each could so strongly state and know the same after talking about our life journey?

Laughter is Contagious

As I review my notes for the conversation I am writing about today, I’m struck by one overarching memory about the conversation…the laughter.  So struck by how much fun the conversation was, the “old adage” “laugher is contagious” came to mind, so I looked up the adage to see if anyone had ever found any truth to the adage.  Sure enough, those “unnamed researchers” we always read about have found in numerous studies that laughter is, indeed, contagious.  No wonder I laughed so much when talking with Elsie and Arthur James.

One of the best features of Hayes Barton Baptist Church is that people get to meet new people through the many activities sponsored by the church.  Such was the case when my husband Jim and I met Elsie James.  “Operation InAsMuch” in 2010 put us on a team that didn’t have one of the more glamorous mission assignments.  Because of my love of horses, I signed us up for the Helping Horse Therapeutic Riding Program, little realizing that our task was to involve little contact with horses.  When we found out from Mory Read that we were to build a septic field fence, we put on our oldest boots, grabbed pairs of gloves, and headed out to accomplish our mission.

Upon arrival, we found out that our mission team was a small one; only one other person from the church was at the ranch to work.  That person was Elsie James.  Meeting Elsie James on a horse ranch with the mission of building a fence around a septic field is all that needs to happen for the laughter to commence.  It never takes more than a few minutes when we see her for us to recall with laughter our mission, particularly the posthole digger that she and Jim used to set the fence stakes.  Since the fence was to be a temporary one, we know it isn’t there any longer, but the memories of a fun time live on.

And that is the way it is with Elsie and Arthur James.  Just about everything that we talked about was remembered with smiles and laughter.  Whether discussing the fact that both of their mothers were airline stewardesses or remembering that Shirley Faulk was the director of their wedding in 1981 at Hayes Barton Baptist Church, the messages communicated are that life is a blessing that is to be lived with a smile on your face and in your heart.

Elsie’s connection to Hayes Barton Baptist Church dates back to her parents joining the church in the 1940s and her baptism in 1953.  Like many who are still members, Elsie says, “I grew up in this church.  This has been and is my church.”  Arthur, also like many, married into the church.  “You can look all you want at churches,” Elsie recalls saying to Arthur, “but we are going to Hayes Barton Baptist.”

And that has worked out just fine for Arthur.  “From day one, this has been home for me,” says Arthur.  “The people make it home.  The people are committed.  The style of the church fits.”  Elsie adds, “We are here because we believe in the mission of this church.  It is a church that wants to get out and give back.  We work hard.  We have good times that are filled with laughter.  We do what we can.”

And one of the most important “can do” things Arthur was involved with in the church was chairing the architectural committee for the Family Life Center.  “The Family Life Center grew out of our visioning in 1999,” says Arthur. “It is a beautiful building that blends in well, and it is fulfilling its purpose beyond my wildest dreams.  It is giving a whole new different life to this church.”

Elsie and Arthur raised their two children, August and McCauley, in the church and have fond and, again, fun memories of mission trips taken with their children to Arkansas, Overton House in Scotland, and Gulfport.  “Missions reenergize you to see how important your faith is,” reflects Elsie.  “We are called on by Christ to help others,” says Arthur, “There are all kinds of ways with missions to share your faith with people.”

When asked about the heritage of Hayes Barton Baptist Church, Elsie quickly and seriously says, “There is strength in this church. There is a commitment to spread the Word to others.”  “There is the togetherness of family,” adds Arthur.  “Our children come home and want to go to church.  The church is their family.”

The hope of Hayes Barton Baptist Church resides in its people and its traditions, according to the Jameses.  “My hope is that the church will continue to grow and continue to attract families and carry on our traditions,” says Arthur.  “Our traditions are our security.”  “And our values are inherent in our traditions,” says Elsie.

As to the home that Hayes Barton Baptist Church is for the Jameses:  “Just like home, I never hesitate walking in here,” says Arthur.  “I walk in the doors and feel like I am home. I get up on Sunday mornings and know it is the place to be. It is a blessing to be part of Hayes Barton Baptist Church, and I never want to be anywhere else.”  Echoes Elsie, “This is our home forever.  Forever.”

A story about the Jameses would not be complete without mention of the family dogs in the household.  Otis T, a thirteen-year-old black lab, and Tudi, a nine-year-old boxer, are the current beneficiaries of the laughter and love in the Jameses’ home given that August and McCauley don’t live at home anymore.  I suspect that, as much as dogs can laugh, Otis T and Tudi are dogs that have laughter in the lives every day.  “Laughter is contagious” and being around Elsie and Arthur will make you laugh, for sure.  What a wonderful couple to have as a part of our church family.

Gardeners Among Us

I don’t think I can write about Elizabeth and Henry Turlington without writing about the NC State Wolfpack.  More often than not, the Wolfpack enters into the conversations we have, regardless of the sports season that is at hand.  That is what happens when people share being die-hard fans for a team.  I think the first time I remember noticing Elizabeth Turlington was in the first “Study Pray Serve” Bible study of Romans; her comments were so insightful.  We were still so new to the church that we didn’t know many people and putting names with faces was challenging, but I made a point of learning Elizabeth’s name. The first memory I have of Henry Turlington was of his red bowtie; I must have seen him on a Sunday after a Wolfpack victory.  See, I’ve already mentioned the Wolfpack.

Henry Turlington met Elizabeth on a blind date in 1964. Henry was a student at North Carolina State University at the time, and Elizabeth, who grew up on White Oak Road right near Hayes Barton Baptist Church, was a student at Peace College.  They dated three years and married in December, 1967, after Henry enlisted in the US Army.  The newlyweds spent their first married days at Fort Lee, Virginia, and Fort Riley, Kansas.

Henry was a quartermaster in the army and went to Vietnam for almost of year of service in 1968.  When Henry went to Vietnam, Elizabeth moved back home to Raleigh.  After Henry’s return, his job with Wachovia kept them on the move for four plus years.  Henry and Elizabeth with eventually two children in tow lived in Charlotte, Salisbury, Winston-Salem, and Kinston.  Henry recalls with a smile that Elizabeth “was a very good wife” through all these moves.

Raleigh came to be home again when Henry left Wachovia and bought a Manpower employment franchise which eventually, with a partner, grew and multiplied.  Hayes Barton Baptist Church became their church home in 1991 as they looked for a church in which “to grow” their faith.

“We found a family of faith here,” says Elizabeth.  “We love the flavor of Hayes Barton. We have been here so long now that we have the gift of seeing our children and their spouses and our four grandchildren here.”

Active in the church in numerous ways, the Turlingtons see Hayes Barton Baptist Church as a church which offers opportunities to serve and to grow.  Henry was chairman of the Diaconate when the church voted to build the Family Life Center and continues leading the Debt Retirement effort with a strong dedication.  “The Family Life Center is a good addition,” says Henry.  “It offers the space for receptions, sports, classrooms, the Preschool.  It is helping Hayes Barton Baptist Church grow.”  Elizabeth is likewise dedicated to Martha Ministry, a lay ministry which offers aid in times of need.  Meals, transportation, household and yard maintenance, errands, and caregiver relief are the kinds of care provided by Martha Ministry. 

“Martha Ministry grew out of my experience in Companions in Christ,” says Elizabeth.  Of her experience, Elizabeth writes:  “Companions made me stop and focus on Jesus – his life, death, and resurrection and how knowing Him has changed my life.  After a year of study, prayer, sharing… I feel I know my relationship with God through His Son Jesus better, know myself as His creation better and am more in tune with God’s will for my life.  I am eager with a joyous heart and attitude to step out in faith and say ‘Here I Am Lord’….It is exciting to grow in the Lord through opportunities He places before us.”

Henry and Elizabeth see both the heritage and hope of Hayes Barton Baptist Church in terms of growth.  “The church grew from its very beginnings, continues to grow, and will grow in the future,” reflects Henry.  “Growth of the church is our future,” adds Elizabeth. And it is about “bringing glory to the Lord and spreading His word in a changing world that needs His word.” 

The church home that Hayes Barton Baptist Church has been for the Turlingtons involves the church’s people and the Holy Spirit.  “The people make this home for us,” says Henry.  “The atmosphere also makes it home.  We are nourished here in the Lord.”  “Home is where the heart is,” says Elizabeth, “and our hearts are here.  This church enabled us to grow our faith and to walk with the Lord which is most important.

A question about favorite Hayes Barton activities brings out the fact that Henry’s birthday is December 24, Christmas Eve.  “Every Christmas Eve, Henry stands in the Living Nativity,” says Elizabeth.  “One year, hard to believe, he was even an angel,” she shares with a laugh.

A question about favorite Scriptures for Henry brings up Psalm 23 and about favorite hymns for Elizabeth highlights “I Surrender All.”  Reviewing each shows that these two people have strong relationships with the Lord, ones which witness their faith and love of the Lord.

As for their love of the Wolfpack, that can’t be denied either.  Since getting to know the Turlingtons, we’ve gone to a bowl game with them, tailgated, and attended a basketball game.  To say that we have the Wolfpack in common would be an understatement.  And isn’t that one of the best things about a church like Hayes Barton Baptist Church?  People grow to know one another through shared faith and shared lives. 

In fact, the theme of growth is one that surfaces as I write about Henry and Elizabeth. Whether growing a family, growing a business, growing a church, or growing in faith, Henry and Elizabeth are people who help grow others and the places they touch.  They are gardeners among us. 

"Our Soft Place To Fall"

The people in today’s post have been members of Hayes Barton Baptist Church for only a little over two years, yet I suspect many of you would recognize them if you saw them outside the church at a restaurant or store.  The reason you would recognize them is that they are faithful members of the Chancel Choir so they likely are familiar faces to you because you see the choir each Sunday. And just as you see them each Sunday, if you are around church on Mondays, you are likely to see them as every Monday they work in the Choir Room, sorting music from Sunday Worship and beginning preparation for the next Sunday.  These folks are dedicated members of the choir and of Hayes Barton Baptist Church, and their names are Scotti and Ron Tatum.

Scotti and Ron Tatum moved to Raleigh and visited Hayes Barton Baptist Church in June, 2009; by July, 2009, they joined the church.  Their daughter Lucy Austin had told them that Hayes Barton Baptist Church was “the closest church” to Snyder Memorial Baptist Church in Fayetteville where Scotti and Ron had been members for a number of years.   As Scotti recalls, “Lucy said, ‘Mom this is going to be your church.’”

Scotti agrees with Lucy’s assessment about the similarity to Snyder and can quickly rattle off how the two churches are similar and why they came quickly to feel like Hayes Barton Baptist church is their church home. “The choir, structure, Wednesday nights, the beliefs, the comfort level, and the mindset,” says Scotti with straightforward candor.

While Scotti explains through words the quick connection to the church, Ron recalls that he was the first of the two to sing in the choir.  With Scotti too sick to sing that Wednesday night, Ron went ahead and joined the choir in spite of the fact that he wasn’t too thrilled with being on TV.  Now because of TV, both are recognized in places like K&W in Raleigh and their old stomping grounds in Fayetteville.  “Total strangers treat us like we are buddies because of the TV ministry,” says Ron.

The day Ron was singing in the choir Scotti sat in the congregation and Henry Warren struck up a conversation with her about Sunday School.  “He wrote down all the information about the Koinonia Sunday School class,” says Scotti. “We visited it and haven’t left it.  We have the choir, too, which is like a second Sunday School class for us.”

Native Virginians, Scotti and Ron met on a tour of Baptist colleges and institutions in Virginia.  They remember the first time they saw each other.  “It was in the Foreign Mission Board parking lot,” says Scotti who even remembers what Ron was wearing that day.  Eventually, they married.  “Our wedding was on Christmas Eve in 1967.  We didn’t think about how that would affect our anniversaries,” laughs Ron.

While they have been members of Hayes Barton Baptist Church for only a few years, Scotti and Ron have served on a number of committees in addition to being in and serving the choir behind the scenes.  In fact one of their roles these days is as choir “librarians” which has them cataloging all the music.  One recent “find” they had while labeling the music was a bulletin that fell out of a stack of music they were going through. “We were surprised to find out that Billy Graham had been here for an evening baptism service in 1987,” says Scotti.

Although they do not teach Sunday School at Hayes Barton Baptist Church, Scotti and Ron did so for about twenty years at Snyder in Fayetteville.  “We taught eleventh graders,” recalls Scotti.  “Our starting point was always the Scripture.  It is the only thing today you know is going to be 100% the truth.” “We opened to Proverbs a lot with the kids,” says Ron.  “We are Proverbs people,” adds Scotti.

You can’t get away from talking to Scotti and Ron without asking about their favorite hymns.  They talk with each other like I wasn’t in the room and then settle on “The Majesty and Glory of His Name” with Scotti saying that it is “probably my all time favorite” and Ron adding “God of Grace” is “a good one, too.”

Scotti and Ron see the heritage of Hayes Barton Baptist Church with a shorter perspective than some of the folks in the blog stories but that doesn’t really change what they see.  “This is what a church should be,” says Scotti.  “This is a church of God’s people. It is inclusive.  Welcoming…that is part of its heritage.”  Ron adds that the TV ministry and music are also important parts of the church’s heritage.

The hope of the church, says Ron, “is the large number of children and their parents.”  “This church will be here for the children,” says Scotti, “because of its strong heritage that has it putting the word out about Jesus.”

The home that Hayes Barton Baptist Church has become for Scotti and Ron starts with having their daughter Lucy and son-in-law Richard in the church.  “It is such a blessing, a gift, to be in a church with our kids,” says Scotti.  “It truly is our home.  It is our soft place to fall.  It offers us fellowship.  It is our encouragement.  It’s home and it’s family.  No matter what.  It is our soft place to fall.”

Church and Family Memories

The person in today’s post grew up at Hayes Barton Baptist Church. Five members of her mother’s family were charter members of the church.  And she traces her connection to the church to the early 1950s. When she talks about the church, you hear the love she feels for the church and what it represents in her life.  Her family memories are church memories, and church memories are family memories.  The person is Kitty Allers.

“As one grows, the church grows with you,” reflected Kitty Allers as we talked about her involvement at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  “You just grow.”

Kitty grew up at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  Family members can be found in the list of charter members:  M. S. Humphrey; Mrs. M. S. Humphrey; W. Glenn Humphrey; Max Humphrey; Pearl Humphrey.  They were the family of Kitty’s mother Lorraine. 

Kitty was born in Durham, North Carolina, to Lorraine and John C. (“Jack”) Allers.  The family moved back to Raleigh and became involved in Hayes Barton Baptist Church in the early 1950s.  Kitty remembers the names of the church staff and the many activities of the church that stood on the Five Points corner before the fire of 1962.

“I remember Sunday nights in the Fellowship Hall which was downstairs under the sanctuary,” says Kitty.  “Bennett Straughn would create chalk drawings to teach Bible verses, and Jimmy Ringgold would sing.  We’d have 300 to 400 people at church on Sunday nights.”

And Sunday nights weren’t the only nights that were busy.  The 1950s saw the start of The Living Nativity at Hayes Barton Baptist Church each Advent.  “More nights, more shifts, more people, and more animals back then,” recalls Kitty.  “My father directed it for over twenty years.  I remember when the cows and donkeys got loose in the middle of Five Points, and I remember the year we had baby sheep born here. My dad was the one who got the calls in the middle of the night about the animals running loose.  And I remember playing all the parts through the years.  I was always brought along to fill in roles that needed filling.”

Kitty was baptized by Dr. John Kincheloe in 1961.  “I was the only one baptized that day.  It happened in the old church baptistery,” recalls Kitty.  “There was a stained glass window that was beautiful.  My grandmother was brought in on a stretcher from the nursing home to see my baptism.”

“After the church burned down,” says Kitty.  “we worshipped at the school in the winter and the theater in the summer.  Sunday School happened all over the place.  I remember people being scattered from here to yonder.”

“Those were the impressionable years of my life,” says Kitty.  School with an eventual degree in business administration and work at the North Carolina Department of Public Instruction took her focus away from church and put her on the road often, but, she says no matter she did in life, she always knew she would be welcome at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.

And she never really left as through the years she served on numerous committees and was involved in many activities.  These days she serves as an usher, on the wedding committee, and with food serving.

Kitty knows the heritage of Hayes Barton Baptist Church because it is also the heritage of her family.  “From the 1950s to my high school graduation,” says Kitty, “it was my family.  And it became my family again at other times in my life like when my father died in 1983.”

Kitty happily talked about her dad throughout our conversation, and she said at one point, “In case you hadn’t picked up on it, I was a daddy’s girl.”

The hope of Hayes Barton Baptist Church, for Kitty, is that “it will continue to be a family for people, that it will attract more families because families are what made this church.”  It offers a home to those families that, according to Kitty, is always welcoming.  “No matter what, even if you stray, you are always welcomed back.  You can stray.  Come back.  Stray.  That is the way it has been for me,” says Kitty.

As we finished our conversation, we talked again about The Living Nativity.  Kitty told me of a tree that her Uncle Glenn had planted to overlook the Nativity scene.   “It was a magnolia tree that had to be cut down.  I was given a picture of the tree that is framed in magnolia wood.  It is hanging in my dining room,” says Kitty.  “It means a lot because it is from the church. And it reminds me of my uncle and my dad.”

And so it goes.  Church memories are family memories. 

 

The People of a Church

I met the subject of today’s post for lunch.  She wanted to talk about the people of Hayes Barton Baptist Church who have impacted her and who need to be acknowledged and remembered as we walk toward our 85^th anniversary celebration in the coming days.  We enjoyed talking so much that I took few notes but, fortunately, she had recently shared her testimony with her Sunday School class and shared the notes she had from that experience.  While talking at lunch, we found we have much in common professionally and personally.  One of the commonalities is that we treasure the wisdom and life experience of those among us who are have lived many years, seen many seasons, and loved many people. The story today is about Debra DeCamillis.  And also about the many people at Hayes Barton Baptist Church who have impacted her life.

Debra DeCamillis and her husband Clayton first visited Hayes Barton Baptist Church in 1984.   They received a call from Becky Ferrell soon after that visit, and Becky offered welcoming kind words.  “We felt at home” from the very beginning, says Debra. And a journey was started.

Debra’s testimony is filled with the names of people who have been on her journey and who have changed her life.  In addition to Becky Ferrell, the names referenced in Debra’s testimony are:  Dr. T.L. and Helen Cashwell; Kate Hall; Hilda Tillman; Bert Barksdale; David and Nancy Langford; Helen and Wood Middleton;  Louise Veazey; Betty Griffin; Fabian Thornhill; Bob and Barbara Whiteman; Jim and Betty Bailey; Clarice Bridges and Henry Bridges; Wallace Richardson; Bill Yost and Agnes Yost; Ruth Dudley; Freddie Thornhill; Dorothy Smith; Grace Alphin; Roma Robinson; Louise Eubanks; Ruby Pleasants; Martha McAdams; Cindy King; Cara Lee Smith; Eloise Jackson; Martha Stevenson; John Moore; Al Morris; and Dr. Hailey. Plus those with just their first names:  Frances; Helen; Mary; Jolene; Iona; and Marie.   And the missionaries:  the Grossmans; the Dysons; and the Newells. 

At the risk of leaving someone out, I think you get the picture.  Or get Debra’s picture.  Each of these people is an important person to Debra and is a part of her faith journey at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  “You don’t always know what you have done that changes someone’s life,” writes Debra in her testimony.  “I want you to know.”

What these people individually and together have done for Debra is provide her with a church that, in her own words, “has taken me from a young wife to a new mother.  It has helped me raise my children and build a family of friends.  It has given me new responsibilities and nurtured my talents.  It has helped me grieve my losses and, today, it gives me my home base.”

The parts these people have played in Debra’s life have been impactful.  Writing her testimony, Debra says, allows her to share:  “This is who I am.  This is what has happened to me inside these walls.  This is about how God has provided for me.  And no one will know how much all this means to me unless I tell them.”

And while Debra’s testimony includes a great story about Hayes Barton Baptist Church as a church building (“When I get drive through Five Points,” Debra writes, “I have a little tingle and think, ‘That’s my church; I belong there.’”), Debra’s testimony stands as a witness to the reality that the people of a church are what bring it to life and enable it to be a place of Faith, Hope, and Love.

All of the people Debra mentions in her testimony, those who are now among the Cloud of Witnesses and those who are still among us, enable Hayes Barton Baptist Church to be the blessed church that it is.  They are part of the heritage we have and continue to build, part of the hope we value, and part of the home that the church is for us.   Who has impacted you on your journey?  And who are you impacting?  Both are good questions to ask ourselves; thanks to Debra for reminding us to do so.

Just Like Home

Much like I found Jerry Causey up on the roof when we were set to have our conversation about his story, I learned that the person in today’s story was cleaning out closets when I arrived at the church to interview her.  We met the week before “First Impressions Week” at Hayes Barton Baptist Church,the week that was set to clean the church before the 85^th anniversary celebration.  While cleaning the church for many of us was something different to do, the person in today’s story has cleaned out many a closet and many other parts of the church through the years.  She is someone who was taken under the wing of Virginia Eagle when she was new in the church, and she is one of many who together carry on the “Virginia Eagle way.”  The person today is Kathy Teague.

Kathy Teague and her husband Bill joined Hayes Barton Baptist Church in 1979.  “Sally Swift, my great aunt, had been a member here,” recalls Kathy, “so I visited here often.  I love it, and I have always loved it.” 

One of the aspects of Hayes Barton Baptist Church that Kathy loves a lot is its multigenerational quality.  “I love the older members,” says Kathy, “and I love the way the church values its young people.”

Kathy adds to the church’s ability to be multigenerational as she is a main force in the church’s Hanging of the Greens service each year, a service which affords all generations of the church to actively participate in the decorating of the church for Advent.

As a member of the Seasonal Decorations Committee, Kathy says the Hanging of the Greens preparation is “kind of interesting.”  One of the behind the scenes challenges each year is storing all of the decorations that are used to transform the sanctuary from its every day beauty to the splendor of the Christmas season.   Think about all of your Christmas decorations and multiply by 100, and you may have a sense of scale…and storage requirements.

Kathy is involved in decorating the church throughout the year and adds a third dimension to the work of Audrey Lassiter and Debra Barrier (both previous blog post stories).  “It takes the three of us and others to do what Virginia Eagle (also a previous blog post) used to do,” says Kathy.  “Virginia took me under her wing and taught me how to do around here.”

In addition to decorating, Kathy has been involved in many aspects of Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  Teaching Sunday School to fourth and fifth graders, working in the nursery, serving on the Board of the Frankie Lemmon School and on the Children’s Ministry Council, and working on the consignment sale are a few of many. 

“The most fulfilling service by far was being cochair with my husband Bill of the capital campaign for the Family Life Center,” says Kathy.  “I felt the Holy Spirit on top of that project.  Along the way there were doors that opened and doors that closed.  It was hard work, and it was a wonderful project.”

“The Family Life Center is so much more today than we ever imagined during the campaign,” says Kathy.  “It means a lot. It breathed new life into our church.  And it helps us be multigenerational because it was made possible by the faith that older people had to decide to build it, and it is used by so many of the younger people.”

Of the heritage of Hayes Barton Baptist Church, Kathy says “that the church has changed and yet has stayed the same.  We adapt when we need to, and we value our history.  We don’t constantly reinvent ourselves and try to be all things to all people.  We keep our traditions, and we are careful and deliberate about our changes.”

The hope of the church, for Kathy, rests in the Holy Spirit.  “I see evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work here.  Christ created this church, and we have a huge responsibility to be His church, to work hard to be His church.”

The feeling of home that Kathy has for Hayes Barton Baptist Church is obvious.  “This is a wonderful church home,” says Kathy.  “Besides being in my home, I’m happiest when I’m in this home.  When I think of Hayes Barton, I think of home.”

And with that final comment about home, Kathy was off to clean out another closet, taking care of her church home much like she would take care of her own home.  Then again, it is just like her home, complete with closets to clean, decorations to store, and the Holy Spirit at work.      

"Life, After All, Is About Commitments"

With the posting of this story, thirty five of the eighty five stories will be complete.  The process is a slow one as it involves scheduling conversations, having the conversations, and then writing about the conversations. Most folks think the last step, the writing, is the hardest, but for me that is the step that is the easiest.  To sit and write this blog is truly to sit with God at my keyboard. Scheduling the conversations, even asking people to share, is the most challenging as people are so busy and also so humble in their thinking about sharing.

Once the conversations are underway, the fun really begins, and, as I’ve said to more than one person, “no one has gotten injured during the writing of this blog.”  What is most interesting is that I ask very few questions during the conversations because people begin to talk and share about Hayes Barton Baptist Church and about their journeys.  I don’t have to resort to“60 Minutes” tactics to uncover the stories that we have amongst us.   

So, as I embark on writing this story, I am grappling with a part of me that wants to rush through to hit the deadline of all eighty five by Thanksgiving and another part that is telling me to take the time to be on the journey and on the journeys that these stories offer.  For now, I’ll write at a pace that offers our church the opportunity to enjoy the stories as they come, to travel along the journeys, to celebrate each one, and to anticipate the one that will come next…committed to  a deadline that falls within the shadow, albeit a long one, of Thanksgiving Day in my mind.

With that said, “number thirty five” is a person who you likely can find at church almost any day of the week, any hour of the day, any place in the church.  You might find him in the basement or, like I did on the day we met to talk, up on the roof.  We didn’t talk up there, though; we met in the conference room.  No surprise about who the person is…the person is Jerry Causey.

Jerry Causey was the first person I interviewed at Hayes Barton Baptist Church when I began writing for the church newsletter Faith Points.  The reason for the interview was to talk about the North Carolina Baptist Men.  Our conversation for the 85 stories blog also ultimately focused on the NCBM, but we had a ways to go to get back to it as a topic.  Along the “ways” were stories about growing up, Joyce, erector sets, Joyce, college, Joyce, family, Joyce, career, Joyce, church, Joyce…you get the picture, don’t you?

Jerry likes to talk about his wife Joyce.  Whether it’s the story of how they met one summer in Trenton, North Carolina, when he was invited to her home for dinner after church or about their shopping trips to Sears through the years when he would by one tool per trip as Joyce shopped or about their involvement with the NCBM, Jerry mentions Joyce and a twinkle lights his eyes.

Jerry and Joyce joined Hayes Barton Baptist Church in 1999.  They had retired to Raleigh with intentions of joining a different Baptist church, but a connection to Tom Bodkin back in Roanoke Rapids led them to our doors.  “If you join their staff,” Jerry recalls telling Tom when he was considering joining Hayes Barton Baptist’s staff, “we’ll join.”  And they did.

Jerry grew up on a very small farm which was located between Greenville and Kinston.  “My parents were my most important influence,” says Jerry, who came to Raleigh to North Carolina State University with the intention of earning a two-year agriculture degree and then going back home to farm.  “Then the biggest single turning point happened in my life,” shares Jerry, as his advisor told him:  “You are in the wrong program.  You need to be in a four-year program.”  Jerry says he “changed from going back to the farm to staying at State for four years and earning his degree, getting involved in ROTC, and flying helicopters in Vietnam.”  He met Joyce along the way, they married, and, as Jerry puts it, “It has sorta worked out at 46 years.”

Almost from day one, Jerry has taken it upon himself to fix what’s not working at Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  His first chore involved working on the church’s doors which hadn’t had much attention paid to them since they were installed in the 1960s.  Projects have included things like raising the choir loft floor and the recent lighting wiring for the Fellowship Hall podium which Riley Pleasants built.  On the day we met, Jerry was trying to track down the source of a strange sound that was coming from the air conditioning units on the roof.  “I enjoy helping at the church,” says Jerry. “I think it goes back to my days at a small country church, Riverside Christian Church, which had, on a good day, 50 people attending.”

The appeal of Hayes Barton Baptist Church is multileveled for Jerry.  “Our heritage is not one that excludes.  We are a body of tolerant people who listen to varied views,” says Jerry.  “We are also a caring church, a mission-minded church, and a Christ-centered church.”  His favorite Bible verse comes into play here as he references the Golden Rule. “Matthew 7:12,” says Jerry, “‘in everything do unto others as you would have them do to you.’  That’s what we have here at Hayes Barton.”

The hope of Hayes Barton rests in “being true to ourselves,” says Jerry.  “We have to understand who we are.  We are known for having a traditional service, for example.  That is who we are. We attract people who can come here and share values and beliefs.  That is who we are.”

“Hayes Barton is a church home for Joyce and me,” shares Jerry.  “We enjoy being here and being part of this church family.  We enjoy Dr. Hailey who has been recognized as the best preacher in the state.”

Joyce and Jerry also enjoy being part of the North Carolina Baptist Men.  “Joyce and I are heavily involved.  We are always ready to go.  We have our bags packed and are committed to whatever the task at hand is,” says Jerry.  “Life, after all, is about commitments.”

Which takes us back to Joyce.  And Joyce and Jerry.  Life for Jerry is about commitments.  To Joyce and his family.  To his church and his church family.  To the North Carolina Baptist Men.  To God.  “You have to be committed,” says Jerry.  “Life, after all, is about commitments.” 

Jerry is one committed man; that can go almost without saying.  All you have to do to verify it is try to find him at the church.  He may, after all, be back up on the roof still trying to track down the strange sound he heard.  He is committed to finding…and fixing …it.

Hence...Why "It Means So Much"

Writing a blog when there is a “part two” to a story is difficult because the postings are out of order, and “part two” is listed ahead of “part one”.  I know I could reorder the posts but I am trying to be true to my order of writing even if I’m a bit off my schedule of writing one a day!

The posting entitled “’It Means So Much’” is “part one” in this instance so, if you haven’t read it, please do before reading this one.  The “part two” story, this story, is about Faye Crow.  She has such a special chapter in her story that I want to post on its own.

As you read in “It Means So Much,” Hayes Barton Baptist Church means a lot to Ches and Faye Crow.  They, more than most, have experienced the love of the church given the trials and tribulations of recent years.  Recall the David With mention of the Crows being tested like Job, and you have a quick understanding of what I’m writing about.

Given my involvement at Hayes Barton Baptist Church for the past two years, I had known about Cheslun’s illness, Mrs. Crow’s illness, and the house fire that displaced the Crows for a good bit of time.   What I did not know about, though, was a terrible accident that Faye had while walking across a downtown Raleigh street after work several years ago. 

Likely blinded by the sun, the driver of a truck struck Faye.  While injured, Faye had not lost consciousness.  So, picture this, Faye is laying the street and calling Ches who is working at the museum in Fayetteville, telling him she was just hit by a truck.  “I could hear the EMS siren in the background,” recalls Ches.

While frantically driving back to Raleigh, Ches encounters every possible delay along the way, from traffic to road closures.  Faye, in the meantime, is asked by the people tending to her, “What church do you belong to?”  Of course, Faye says, “Hayes Barton Baptist Church.”

Someone then calls the church, and Henry Warren, a member of Faye and Ches’s Sunday School Class, happens to be at church and hears about Faye.  Henry and then youth minister Mike Strickland go to the hospital and are there with Faye when Ches finally arrives.  Another Sunday School member, Dave Mobley, also shows up.

Hence, as written in “It Means So Much,” why the church “means so much” to the Crows.  “We are like part of a family here,” says Faye.  Being a member helps Faye, in particular, rely upon a Scripture that is special to her, Philippians 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (NIV).  If anyone could be excused for being anxious, it might be Faye has she lay in the street.  But she wasn’t.  She said her church was Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  And, hence, that’s why “it means so much.”

"It Means So Much"

Hayes Barton Baptist Church “means so much.” In some ways, I don’t need to write much more than that today as the phrase was repeated numerous times in the conversation I had with the people in today’s story.  “It means so much.”  Said with such sincerity and love.  “It means so much.”  These folks have a view of the church and feelings for the church that reside deep in the heart, deep in the soul.  In the short time I’ve known them, I know they’ve been through “so much.”  It is not surprising that Hayes Barton Baptist Church “means so much” to them.  The people are Ches and Faye Crow.

My intention was to interview Ches Crow, so I was pleasantly surprised when his wife Faye joined our conversation.  “Ekron Cheslun Crow, III Esq.” is what Ches’s business card says, but I think it is important to note that there have been times in his life that he has been better known as “Miss Faye’s husband.”

Ches has been attending Hayes Barton Baptist Church for about 34 years; Faye, much longer, since she was ten years old.  In fact, Faye’s story has such an interesting chapter that I am going to write this posting about Ches and save Faye’s for another.

Ches is, among the many talents listed on his business card, a speaker so is an easy interview.  He met Faye and starting attending Hayes Barton Baptist Church.  He had grown up a Methodist and didn’t have a church in Raleigh.  He remembers the first contact he had with the church after completing a visitor’s card.  “Luther Hughes called me up and asked if he could come by and talk for a while,” recalls Ches.  “I no sooner put the phone down, and there was a knock at the door.  It was Luther…ready to talk for a while.”

Ches and Faye were married in the church in 1979. They raised their son Cheslun in the church, and Cheslun  is one of the reasons why Hayes Barton Baptist Church “means so much” to them.  “We had a dire time last year with him,” shares Ches.  “When he got sick, we had EMS take him to the hospital.  The doctor really and truly thought he was not going to make it.  I called David Hailey and David With, and they arrived almost immediately at the hospital.  From that point, there was a constant barrage of friends and folks from the church.  At one time, there were even six ministers present.”

Hence, why the church “means so much.”  Through surgery and snowstorm, people from the church held vigil with them.  “The people were so sweet,” says Faye.  “We could feel all the prayers.”

Cheslun’s illness represents one “dire time” among several for the Crows.  An accident, illnesses, and a house fire are others that the Crows, including Ches’s mother, Mrs. Helen Crow, have experienced in recent years.  Hence, why the church “means so much.”

At one point during one of the vigils, David With said to Ches and Faye, “You all are like Job.”  Ches said he readily agreed with David. At which point David then said, “Remember, Job won in the end.”  Hence, why the church “means so much.”

Ches is such an interesting man given all of his talents. In addition to being a speaker, he is an artist, writer, illustrator, and consultant.  He is a member of “The Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St. John of Jerusalem,” which dates back some 900 years, is a Royal Order of Chivalry Under the Crown and an international charitable organization that, according to the St. John’s website, “derives its inspiration … [from]– Pro Fide Pro Utilitate Hominum,  'For the Faith and in the Service of Humanity.’”  Ches is also a Fellow in the Society of Antiquaries of Scotland. 

With his many talents, it is not surprising that Ches’s career was in cultural resources. After studying art at East Carolina University, Ches worked in the commercial art and advertising field for a time and  then worked for the State Department of Cultural Resources, designing exhibits, managing grounds, and carrying out “all other duties as assigned” at the Museum of the Cape Fear Historical Complex in Fayetteville.  After retiring, he also worked on designing and setting up the Lundy-Fetterman Museum and Exhibit Hall at Campbell University and recently has been a exhibit designer for the new Wake Forest Historical Museum.

While retired, he is not “retired” by any stretch of the imagination. Ches continues to do all the things listed on his business card with writing children’s books and painting wildlife just two examples of the activities we discussed. 

We also discussed his singing in the Hayes Barton Baptist Church choir.  In fact, some fame has come is way because he sings in the choir.  “I had a woman come up to me and say, ‘I know you,’” says Ches.  “We went through the various possibilities as to from where, and then we hit upon it.  It was from the TV ministry and singing in the choir.”

Given all he is involved with, you might be surprised to learn that one of his favorite Scripture verses comes from Psalm 46: “Be still and know.”  In fact, it is on his business card as part of the arms he was granted by the Crown two years ago.  “I figure I still need to be quiet and listen,” says Ches.  “Listen to God.”

Ches may not know all but the story he and Faye shared conveys that they know a lot about Hayes Barton Baptist Church and what it means.  “We love this church,” says Ches, “or we wouldn’t be here.  It means so much, so very much. Many, many, many people from the church have been a blessing to us.  It means so much.”